i used to sleep a lot. like a lot, a lot. senior year, i’d go to bed at 11 and wake up at 8:30. i’d feel awesome and lame at the same time. i didn’t hate it.
i no longer sleep. or rather, i don’t sleep like a normal adult. i sleep like a child. i pass out into sporadic naps after work, rally late at night, and then wake up at an ungodly hour for yoga. rinse and repeat.
and when i get tired, i laugh. i laugh uncontrollably at anything that’s potentially funny. sometimes it’s not even possibly funny. it couldn’t be construed as funny unless funny suddenly meant “absolutely not hilarious in any way, shape, or form.” but i hit that painful, silent laughter where i’m pretty sure i’ll never take a full breath again and might die of asphyxiation. it’s not cute, but it happens.
i think the following photo might be able to be filed into this category.
i fell off the couch laughing. literally was on the floor. i refreshed the webpage. i looked away and back. i forgot about it for a few minutes, opened the window again, and still laughed. i thought of all the scenarios which would lead to this moment. i thought of what the owl was thinking. i thought of what the brain controlling the hand controlling the hose was thinking. and then i laughed harder and harder until i felt certifiably insane.
and that basically sums up the past 4 days. this entire weekend was an exercise in sleep-deprived entertainment. it was full of (almost all of) my favorite people, football (though we lost), memories, laugh-crying, family, being thrown in the trunk of a car, a dance party, general shenanigans, and lots of love.
kinda felt like one big, mushy hug where your face gets smushed and your arms hurt and you’re breathing in someone else’s shirt (or hair, but i’m usually too short for that) but you don’t care because, hey, it’s an awesome hug.
yep. it was just like that.
3 weeks was just enough time for the reunion to be meaningful, but not too long that it was unbearable (unlike the 6 months lyss and i are going to have between us when we finally, finally, FINALLY see each other in november). and hey, it’ll be another 3 weeks until i’m back for another dose. going back is like plugging in your dying cell phone. you need the charger to get back to normal. it gets worn out from daily use and life. but give it some time away, plugged into an energy source, and it’s ready to go. i can’t stay away too long. i need it as much as my iphone needs electricity (and ‘your love is my drug’ is now playing in my head. awesome).
see, this is what lack of sleep does to me. i compare myself to my electronic devices.
and sing ke$ha songs to myself.
and laugh at pictures of owls. (scroll up. laugh again.)
but honestly. i needed that. it’s not even going back to penn state that i needed. it could have taken place anywhere. i just needed the friends, the familiarity, and the big, sloppy hug with messy hair and misplaced arms.
thanks 
. i think i’ll go to bed now.
